There was the art exhibition at St Ethelwold’s House in East St Helen Street.
The artists were there to chat and I learned that they had produced more art than usual because of the lockdown. Claire Cross has created a lot of new Abingdon views during lockdown.
There was a one way system round the exhibition and so if you wanted to revisit an art work you had to go round again. There are always things you notice differently the second and third time round.
At the top end of East St Helen Street a water leak meant that a new hole was dug yesterday.
Most roads in our old town centre have had a hole dug in the last fortnight. Being the oldest continually inhabited town in England does have some drawbacks.
I am not sure, but I heard, due to a wiki-leak that that hole is the disguised but secret way into a passage that goes under County hall. There you will find a manually guarded doorway. Only upon recognition by those humans will you be asked to show an identity card. Upon checking of your credentials you will be asked for the, something like, the 4th, 9th, and 23rd letter from your memorable word. They will open the door for you to the atrium.
In the atrium is a laser protected timelock.
You need to answer a series of memorable questions in order for the lasers to turn off and then you are through to the facial recognition section of the room with a 7 barrel nuclear blast safe door.
Before a retinal scan. Or maybe it was a rectal one…I may have misheard….
Through this and on to the fingerprint scanner….however this is small fry as, actually, ears are as individual as fingerprints and so there is an ear scan as well to allow the final drawbridge to open.
Once through the drawbridge, you have to travel on your back and pulled via a trolly through a 2ft diameter tunnel (only when you have tapped the trolly track with the correct tap sequence to signify your need to travel) that will bring you out in an opening below the guildhall. Now, after a dna test you will be allowed into The Veil council room and have privy to the “uttermost secret” Old Abbey House bidding…only to find out that the meeting isn’t today, but yesterday….and, if you were suposed to have been there you would have already known this so clearly you aren’t one of the secret people to know about what is going on with a community asset after all. And you’re merely a pleb, like the rest of us.